No more Under G

And so the grades came in and he thus pronounced himself no longer an Under G but a Post G, all that remained was the crappy ceremony to seal the deal :)
Cheers

Monopoly

Ahhh monopoly, my most favorite board game ever. Time consuming yet time well wasted, a game of luck and strategy. I love to start by buying up the three gray colored houses next to the jail and building hotels or gaining control of all the airports or railroad stations. I love calculating all my moves based on the probability of rolling a seven on the dice. But most of all, I just love it when ur bankrupt and even after transferring all ur property to me, u still have to leave the game. So cool. So fucking cool .

According to the world’s most personalized dictionary, Wikipedia, "monopoly (from Greek monos / μονος (alone or single) + polein / πωλειν (to sell)) exists when a specific individual or an enterprise has sufficient control over a particular product or service to determine significantly the terms on which other individuals shall have access to it. Monopolies are thus characterized by a lack of economic competition for the good or service that they provide and a lack of viable substitute goods. The verb "monopolize" refers to the process by which a firm gains persistently greater market share than what is expected under perfect competition. It’s also the most commercially-successful board game in United States history, with 485 million players worldwide"

Wow! having ur way regardless of what’s expected under perfect competition must be cool. I get an intellectual boner just by thinking of it. Isn’t that just cool?

But, for now I’m so fucking pissed. Wamise is a monopoly and thus sees it fit to sell crap at exorbitant prices, u can’t afford to call me a cheapskate just because I’m ranting about stuff like this. It doesn’t make any fucking sense. It’s the same thing with AUN’s crappy service, offering shitty levels of service quality for increasingly exorbitant prices. Why? Because they are a fucking monopoly. It prides itself on being the only private university offering American style education (or not) in sub Saharan West Africa… crap crap crap.

Like the board game the only way out is to either leave the game or get ur own monopoly(ies). I can’t wait to graduate, and then start up my own crappy monopolistic institution. Don’t really care what it will be but it must be shitloads of fun being the only provider of a good or service. Ur customers may rant their hearts out but it doesn’t matter shit to you because in the end, they all come back. (Now O.O, becos I know ur reading this, this is what u call a personal post). May 16 2010 here I come; May God and his army of female Spartan angels see me through to that day, Amen.

"Weight For Me"

I do not mean to sound chauvinistic in this post but we all know dat dis weight issue affects women more so don’t come asking for my head on a plate bcos ur raging oestrogen levels have hit the roof ok? Ur Not getting my head…………only if u ask politely J

Weight gain, the scourge of well-to-do families and nations alike, such as the U.S and our beloved Naija. Yes, that’s right ladies and gentlemen but more towards the ladies, you’ve been scared of me approaching the topic, yes you don’t want me to remind you that you r “tipping 400 on the pounds scale” as my friend L.W. would say.

Go on, Have a Big Mac and a cheeseburger with an ice cream sundae to go, or better yet walk over to Wamise and order Indomie and egg (3 by 2) and then have the audacity to order Diet coke afterwards. I still laugh at the image playing in my head, each time i remember the culprits who were spotted in the act.

It’s ironic that while we take precaution against all forms of mishap that may come our way, we fail to notice d one staring us right in the face, our body weight. It starts by killing off ur social life before killing eventually through a heart attack via arteries clogged with fat.

There are 2 types of weight I would like to discuss today and they are:

College weight: Also referred to as the Fresh man Fifteen, It might seem like a myth until u look at your freshman I.D card or photos again and compare it to recent Facebook profile pics. Yeah? Notice the second chin that wasn’t present in that freshman pic? Yes, notice the extra bounce, the tidal flesh wave that ripples through ur hips, butt and belly as u take a step towards d cafeteria Yup, it’s said dat incoming freshmen can expect to gain 5, 10, 15 or more pounds by the end of their first year which is good for some but when it gets outta control, well I guess we have the you of today to look at J
Those of u who use food and drink to socialize beware, all those bouts of midnight snacking, Pizza parties, 15 bottles of beer at one sitting. Sounds familiar? Yes? Anyways, guys pls don’t blame anyone when you can’t have one on one convos with Mr. P again because u can’t see him because ur tummy is in the fucking way.

 Several studies show that college students eventually gain the freshman fifteen, due to poor eating habits, high stress levels, and inactive lifestyle or as we like to call it, “Chillin mode”

For those of u fortunate to be in relationships, we’ve got something for you too, yes you guessed right, it’s called relationship weight, if u think I’m lying, check ur weight compared to when u were a sad loner and now dat u radiate happiness on the outside even tho u r dying slowly on the inside. It’s not hard to believe especially when food is used to bond these days, u hardly ever hear ppl say “hey I’m going to the gym and was wondering if you cud come” and its considered as a date. Of course there are other causes of  R/ship weight but I think I’ll let u decipher what sperm weight means anyways, moving on.

U can deceive urself by proclaiming that ur bf is great, He is not  harsh because he says stuff like "I love you no matter ur size, so dont break a sweat to please me" 
I’m pretty sure it never crosses your mind that he wants make you feel good about urself.  If he really loved you he’d drop undermining subliminal comments about your expanding waistline says “T” my friend.

If you and ur bf/gf have an honest desire to lose weight, then stop centering your couple's time around food. It might seem like a convenient excuse to shy away from paying for a nice dinner guys but it’s not. you’d be a giant douche bag if u do that but anywaiz u get the point.

“T” says” To save the hassle of getting a gym membership or eating disorder just get with a guy who’s into chubby chicks” or for guys, just have lots of cash J .

Eventually, the point of this my crappy rant is LOSE THE FUCKING WEIGHT! Or stop it from piling up. U become dead weight to ur friends and are ostracized socially. Even if they don’t do it out rightly, u don’t have to be naive. Add a heart attack to this and u shud be getting the full gist of my rant by now.

P.S. Im not narcissistic and i don't have sand in my vagina ok? i do not have a vagina either (Inside jokes)

Cheers

My 262nd Tweet

Finals coming up soon yet southpark s13 wnt let me study..ahh #fuckit I wasnt goin to study much anyways :)

I Write

I write for the liberation of a nation,

for celebration and jubilation,

for integration and not differentiation,

for the eradication of poverty and corruption.

I write for passion and not compulsion,

I paint with words and not emulsion,

I write with graveness and a bit of derision,

on issues abound, no discrimination.

I write for hope and illumination,

In times of darkness, despair and depression,

I write for posterity and emancipation,

from boredom and eternal damnation.

TGIGF >>Thank God Its Good Friday:

Good Friday, a number of things make this a good friday for me. They include:

1. The fact that i'm still alive and breathing after the multitude of sinful words, thoughts and actions executed over the past decade.

2. The fact that a certain Benevolent Diety assumed human form, chose to be humiliated and scorned by entities which he could destroy in the blink of an eye, and eventually died so that said entities may not suffer for their sins at the hands of a Malevolent Diety. I'm grateful.

3. Meal tickets are back, No more hunger packs for me :)

Cheers

Agony Uncle #2

Alright!!! So in good faith, some of u were kind enough to share with us some of the stuff that’s been bothering ur wonderful minds. We gladly appreciate the opportunity to play shrink anytime and encourage you to keep ‘em coming.  Here’s what we’ve got thus far:

Q. Dear L.W, I’m roommates with a girl who has every problem in the book she’s a slob, smoker and alcoholic amongst other things. She generally has an annoying attitude and I don’t think talking will do much good. What to do. - Disgusted Jane

A. Switch roommates its that simple.

Q. Dear L.W, my roommate is this evangelical Christian brother who stays up all night reading the Bible and trying to convert me from my sinful ways. He is kind of overbearing and authoritative and I don’t know how to tell him off without seeming like I’m disrespecting religion. - Pissed off Michael

A. Tell him you respect his religion but he cannot force it on you, and that if he was indeed a true Christian he should understand that.

Q. Dear L.W, I’m currently faced with a big dilemma, on one hand, there’s this guy whose kinda the hidden bad boy type, The kind of stuff that’s good for fantasies and ish however I have a bf already but he’s been trying to seduce me since and I don’t want to do anything to piss of my current boyfriend cuz I really like him, Help! – Confused Amy

A. If you really fantasize about this guy, you should go for it. Your boyfriend does not have to know, you are young now you only get to do this now. On the other hand you should beware and try not to let your boyfriend know. So you have your boyfriend and have also fulfilled your fantasy. It’s a win-win.

Q. Dear L. W, there is a girl I used to like but I’ve lost the flame for and now I’ve seen her with another guy and I still get a little pissed any ideas on how to stop this? - Disturbed Dan

A. Dear Disturbed, you either forget about the girl or move on, or if you really like her you should approach her and make a move, she might just feel the same way about you. You never know until you try.

Q. Dear L.W, I’m stuck between two boys one is sweet cute caring and all and the other is more like the kind of guy I wud want, what should I do?. - Confused M

A. Dear confused, you should go for the guy that you really want because you could settle for mr cute and caring and still not be happy.